


Quest: Cutting-Edge Fashion

by Moonlight_Ultra_Greatspoon



Series: Key Quests, Of A Fashion [1]
Category: Monster Hunter (Video Games)
Genre: Banter, Doing My Job, Gets Everywhere, Irritating, Swordfighting, Tonally Confused, coarse, rough, sand
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:01:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28762995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlight_Ultra_Greatspoon/pseuds/Moonlight_Ultra_Greatspoon
Summary: A hunter, doing what may or may not be one of their keys, depends who and how you ask.
Series: Key Quests, Of A Fashion [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2108748





	Quest: Cutting-Edge Fashion

Client: Gaudy Lady

Details: Oh! I’ve seen it! A glance of light! A glimmer of gold! I must be on top of the latest trend, cash money revival! Everyone else will be dressed up as goats, how tragic! How fitting... fetch me my dress!

“Ugh. I’ve already hunted a bunch of Seregios. It’s how I got this armour. Ah, and this weapon! Call it the Cheda Blade, ‘cos it kills monsters aaaaand rakes in the cheddar! You like?”

“Yes, Gilderoy... The Smithy did a great job, there. Nice spine, lovely temper...ahem. Anyways...(it’s one of your keys.) She’s A Friend Of Mine! And It Might Be Unprofessional, But I’d Really Appreciate It If You Did This, Okay?”

“But isn’t the client called-“

“Great! Thanks!” The Guild receptionist slammed his hand down, stamped over it, and shoved him out the door.

“But I haven’t eaten yet!” As the Felyne crew strapped the balloon way too tight around his pointy armour, and sent him flying.

“SHOULDN’T BE BORING THEN!”

“...Yeah, why did you call her ‘Gaudy Lady’ if she’s your friend?” The Arena Gal cheeked, turning with a huge grin.

“Good question, good question!” The Guildmaster joined in, wringing his hands.

“She’s a... friend! Friends have nicknames!”

“Yeah! Nicknames! Ooh, What’s mine?”

“Uh... Rena! ‘cos you work at the...arena.”

“Aww. Am I really just your co-worker? And here I was thinking we had something special! I’ll have to fix your little heroes up a really nice challenge, so you can see how...kind...I am. Maybe that’ll win you over!”

“What a lovely idea! Now for me!” The Guildmaster chimed in.

Adopting a Thinker’s pose, the Receptionist mused:

“Illmaster! You’re the illest Guildmaster!” Throwing her hand forward and down, hip-hop style!

Forcing out a cough: “And if I get any iller, you’ll have to take over! It’s a stressful job, too, I’m only 23! Wheehee”

“You can’t measure your age in generations of Gogmazios, pops.”

“If either of you are still alive when I bite the dust, you’re welcome to any Dragonators or Dragonsphires you find in me...on the first eight carves.”

“Deal! You can scavenge anything you want from the arena, then!”

“Who says I haven’t been?”

“So that’s why the gate hasn’t been working!”

* * *

Direly fiddling to loosen the straps, Gilderoy prepped himself for a familiar landing. Swinging his sword in a whirl to aim his trajectory towards the Seregios that he knew would be in area 2. He pulled the sword into a twisting thrust, and slammed the tip into the left wing of the beast, perforating the fibre. Seregios, alarmed, twisted and tore through the edge of its wing on its own, but it did get a slap back.

“Oof! Wasn’t expecting that!” Gil moaned, losing grip on his sword and rolling on the floor. Seregios then hobbled in for a slash with its horn, which was countered with a right hook to the blade, a left jab to the top of the mouth, then swung his legs around the horn and stuck two fingers of his bladed gauntlet into its left eye. Whilst it recoiled and bled from its eye, it threw scales wide and erratically, sending blood spurting from where it had shorn through his belly and thigh armour, as he ran for his sword.

Holding his sword low, mucus started to drip from his armour scales, patching up the holes and clogging his wounds. Seregios, in kind, licked its wingtip and scratched its eye, creating a new hateful gaze. It tested him with a few more scales, which were backhanded with a mucosal gauntlet, before diving in with a kick that met an upswing of the greatsword and forcing it down. It swung with its right wing, which was ducked under, then slapped down with the left, to which he weaved through the hole he’d made earlier, and jumped onto its back, swordless, as it went to bite him.

He flexed out his right claw again, gripping to the chest with the left hand, and scratching it with the free right. It shook around, bounding right and left while he kept glancing off the hard back scales, until it tried to roll onto its back to mash Gil into its sharp back, when he managed to clamber to the front, and start scratching heavy gashes at its chest. It quickly started responding with kicks, headswings, and thrashing, getting in a few good hooks at his thighs again and splitting a cut through the helmet into the skin of the forehead, before finally throwing him off when he’d gotten at the ribs, tumbling him down a bank.

Both presently dry of coagulative mucus, all their bleeding finding no more resistance, they regarded each other for a short while. Seregios pressing its chest to the top of a mound to try and dry out the wound while doing so, Gilderoy crouching to protect his legs and holding his arms in front to ward off any scales from above. After the fray, Seregios was considerably closer to his sword, which it took advantage of. Prowling over...gripping the massive weapon with its talon and its mouth...and snapping it!

What remained of the blade was simply the large handle, about two thirds of the spine, and the blade was about four inches wide now, in a very jagged and toothy shape. In a show of solidarity, it threw the blade to him, before bowing with its torn left wing, a grin through the hole. Discarding his partially split helmet, he grinned back through a bloodstained blonde mop that’d put Royal Ludroth to shame, he choked up his sword hilt in his right hand, and sprang up the bank like a monkey.

Cresting the top, he dove into a hacking slash, which was avoided by Seregios kicking back into a failing hover, which could not avoid the hunter’s recovery into a spring off of the dunes, to latch onto its foot with the uneven edge, then swinging atop to start sawing to find gaps between the scales. Seregios whipped its tail and bucked, even running towards a large rock arch to ram him off, but it couldn’t get there in time. It stopped all of a sudden.

“Found it!,” Gilderoy Kingdom-Wilde announced, “The dissenter...” pulling the sword upwards out of where it had pushed under the slightly bent scale and into its spine, which caused the scale to *ping!* out and into his hand.

He then lazily flopped over, as the Seregios was keeling over, looking it in the eye.

“You...weren’t hurting anyone, were you? Huh...” Rereading the quest description, he felt a pang of anger, quickly washed down by sadness. “Well, they say Seregios live and die to fight, so, I hope you got a good one, buddy...maybe someday I’ll see you again, at Wyvern’s End...”

And he pushed the topmost point of his sword into its eye, and shoved down into the brain, finishing it quickly.


End file.
